Qualcuno Ci Aiuti Someone Help Us
by raymund
Summary: Frerard - Gerard is admitted to a psychiatric hospital for drug use where he meets Frank, who isn't all he seems. M for mental illness, drug abuse, self-harm, language, mentions of past abuse and suicidal themes.
1. Awakening

Hey, everyone. I've been having some problems with uploading documents here, so if anything in terms of grammar looks wrong, please let me know so I can try to fix it :) I don't know how often I'll be updating this, but if it goes on hiatus or anything (which I'm betting it won't) I'll let you know. Thanks!

* * *

><p>He couldn't remember how it happened altogether. Fragments of memory came to him; going out with Ray, arguing with his brother about going out with Ray, white lines, white pills... Lots of white pills... Ray telling him to slow down, then... Nothing. Next Gerard knew, he was coming to in a hospital bed with tubes and wires travelling from his body into various machines that he had no intentions of learning about. Mikey was sitting by his bed, and for once he didn't have his phone pressed into his hands, his dainty fingers ghosting over the keys. No, he was empty handed- something must be wrong. Dried tear tracks stained his hollow cheeks and he was shaking with dry sobs. Gerard sat up a little, trying to ignore the pain in his throat and his stomach. Mikey's head snapped up to him and he let out a choked sound, flinging himself up and onto Gerard forcefully.<p>

"Mikey, what the hell..." Gerard croaked out, but thought better than saying anything else as he felt his brother's salty tears dripping onto his collarbone. He simply wrapped his arms around his shaking brother, like a good brother should. He hadn't been a good brother lately. His own tears began to well up in his eyes and he tightened his grip, "Oh fuck, Mikey... I'm so sorry." Mikey shook his head and pulled back with a sad smile.

"Gee, I want you back. I want my big brother back." Fuck, now Gerard felt guilty. His brother was only sixteen; he wasn't even an adult yet, and he'd seen a hell of a lot more than he should have. Gerard blinked back the tears in his eyes and Mikey stood.

"I'm going to get Mom and Dad. I think they want to talk to you about something..." Before Gerard could ask what was going on Mikey had disappeared. Gerard slumped back. He couldn't believe this. He thought he was having fun. He never meant for this to happen. His thoughts were interrupted by his mother bustling into the room and sweeping him into a bone-crushing hug.

"Oh Gerard..." his mother wept, "Why didn't you just come and talk to us? If you had a drug problem we could have helped you sooner! You didn't have to do... this!" Gerard stopped short. This? Drug problem? He didn't have a drug problem! He just took a couple of pills too many, it wasn't a big deal.

"Wuh- what do you mean?" Gerard stuttered. His mother wiped her eyes and looked at him, unnerving him slightly.

"Gerard, honey... You took fifty pills with Vodka. I don't know what you took, but... Oh, baby, why didn't you tell us you felt like this?" Gerard was more confused now... He didn't feel anything except guilt for his brother. His mother seemed to sense his confusion and raised her eyebrows, "Gerard, you should have told us if you were suicidal!" Gerard spluttered out a laugh.

"I'm not suicidal! I never have been!" Donna's eyes softened and she sat on the bed, taking Gerard's hand into hers, "Dear, it's okay to tell us... God, this must be so hard for you," She brushed Gerard's hair behind his ear gently, "A doctor wants to talk to you, okay? He wants to help you, and I think you should let him. I love you." Donna stood and left with a watery smile, his father trailing after her with a small wave. 'Nice one, Dad. I hope this didn't affect your fucking job too much.' A doctor entered the room, pulling in a suitcase. He sat on the bed and smiled at Gerard.

"Hello, Gerard. I'm Doctor James. So, is there anything you want to talk about?" Gerard snorted out a laugh.

"Listen, there's really nothing to talk about. I went out, took too many pills by accident and ended up here. I didn't want to kill myself. I don't want to kill myself!" The Doctor nodded slowly and wrote on his clipboard. Gerard tried to strain to see but it was impossible; stupid doctors with their stupid secrets.

"Okay Gerard, it seems to me you need a break. I think you need to get away from everyone, and the drugs. We're going to take you to a nice enough place, and it's not too far away from here-"

"You're sending me to a mental ward?" Gerard asked, the colour having drained from his face. They couldn't do this to him! He was nearly an adult, they couldn't do this!

"We're taking you to a juvenile psychiatric hospital so you can feel better." The doctor corrected. He wrote some final things on his clipboard and began to remove the wires from Gerard's body. Gerard dressed himself mechanically. He figured his parents had consented, and he felt as though he should resent them, but he couldn't. They were worried about him, he got that. Maybe he had gone too far this time. He was led outside where his family stood by a taxi. Gerard approached Mikey first, pulling him into a secure hug and burying his face in Mikey's shoulder.

"I love you, kiddo. Don't forget that, okay?" Mikey laughed, wiping his eyes.

"You're not going to prison, Gee..." Gerard smiled fondly and hugged his parents before getting into the taxi and waving his family goodbye.


	2. Black Sheep

**Disclaimer: I don't own My Chemical Romance, I just write about them. Thanks for reading!**

"You mind if I smoke?" Gerard asked idly as the taxi rumbled through the deserted New Jersey streets. He knew it would be a good half an hour before they reached the hospital, not that he minded. He just needed a smoke. The taxi driver waved his hand and Gerard lit up, rolling down his window and enjoying the warm summer breeze. He wasn't sure how to feel right now; he just felt numb. Nervous, but numb.

"So, what are you going in for?" the taxi driver asked nonchalantly. Gerard inhaled the smoke and sighed.

"They think I tried to kill myself, but I didn't. It was a mistake. I'll just go there, explain what happened then go back to what I want."

"And what do you want?" Gerard stopped. What did he want?

"To go home." He finished. The driver nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer and the rest of the drive was kept in relative silence. Finally they pulled into the hospital grounds and Gerard looked up at it in awe. The place was fucking huge! The building was built on a massive ground in a horseshoe shape and a short stocky woman stood at the entrance, seemingly waiting for me. She approached Gerard as he got out of the taxi and took his case off the driver, thanking him and motioning at Gerard to follow her with a smile. They entered into an office of sorts and she sat behind the desk. Gerard sat before her and she pulled out a file, moving to a blank page.

"Welcome to Orchid House, Mr. Way. I'm Doctor Yaw, but you can call me Wendie. I've had a call from the hospital and they've explained the case," she laughed shortly, "Don't look so worried, dear. It's not so bad here, you know." She put the file before him and asked him to sign on the dots.

"Oh, um, I won't be staying," He stated confidently, "This is a misunderstanding. I don't want to die, and I didn't try to kill myself." Wendie smiled again and sighed.

"Unfortunately, this isn't a voluntary stay, but you still have to sign. Besides, it's only a month minimum; it can't be so bad for you..." Oh, she had no idea. Did she not get the memo? Two days without drugs and withdrawals start. Gerard tried giving up once; he shuddered as he recalled the pain and cold sweats. He wasn't sure he could do that again, but defeated, he signed his name. Wendie nodded and led him up and into the juvenile ward. They walked past door after door until they came to a single door on the end.

"Okay, you'll spend your first night here, then you'll share a room with another patient for the rest of your stay." Wendie drawled as she unlocked the door and led Gerard inside. The room wasn't too bad; it seemed too big as there was only one bed and no other furniture, "Don't worry; we don't lock the doors when the rooms are occupied. There aren't any drawers seeing as you're only going to be in here for one night... Let's see..." Wendie glanced at her watch, "It's five after six, so dinner'll be in about half an hour. I'll give you a call. Is there anything I can get for you in the meantime?" Gerard thought for a second.

"Uh, could I maybe get some paper and a pen?"

"I can get you paper, by all means, but a pen is a no-no. I can get a pencil or charcoal? I recommend the charcoal; it doesn't get used as often." Gerard nodded his thanks and collapsed onto the bed. He didn't want to think about how he felt. He was hurt, he couldn't deny it, but part of him felt as though they did this because they loved him. Wendie returned with the art supplies and Gerard thanked her profusely. He set to drawing, and managed to get half way through a picture of the view from his window when the door burst open and four people came stumbling in with Wendie chasing them.

"Is this the new guy?" one asked excitedly. Wendie pushed through and looked apologetically at Gerard,

"I'm sorry... They just pushed in! Guys, leave Gerard alone, it's his first night for crying out loud!" she scolded. The others filed out but the first guy hung back.

"Will we see you at dinner?" he asked heatedly. Gerard nodded with a faint smile and the other grinned, "I'm Brendan Urie, come find us at dinner, okay?" With that, he left Gerard alone once again. He looked out of the window again at the summer sun beginning to set. The landscape looked beautiful. There was a big fountain out front that Gerard hadn't noticed before. A few patients were walking through the grounds and everything seemed peaceful. Suddenly there was a harsh knock at the door and Wendie poked her head in.

"Gerard, dinner's ready. Come eat, okay?" Gerard nodded mechanically and stood. Before he got to the door Wendie stopped him gently, "Make sure you go to dinner every day, okay? If you don't go to meals or eat, you'll lose privileges, just so you know."

Gerard entered the cafeteria to find it almost full. He got his food and looked around for a place to sit. His attention was caught by Brendan waving crazily from his table. He sat down and began to pick at his food as everyone's eyes laid on him.

"So, I'm Brendan but you know that. What's your name? What're you here for? How old are you? Are you from Jersey too?" The boy next to Brendan cleared his throat and Brendan stopped with a shy grin, "Sorry, I talk a lot."

"Yeah, I get that..." Gerard mumbled, "I'm Gerard. Nice to meet you." The other boy piped up.

"I'm Ryan Ross," he turned to Brendan with a frown, "Bren, you shouldn't just ask someone why they're here." Brendan nodded dejectedly before going back to his dinner. Gerard was just enjoying the quiet when everyone else seemed to deem it right to introduce themselves.

"I'm Pete Wentz," "I'm Patrick Stump. I'm with Pete, here." "Hey, I'm Hayley Williams!" "I'm Jimmy Eringer." "And I'm Lindsey Ballato!"

Gerard took a moment to look over the occupants of the table. Brendan was looking around everywhere, fidgeting constantly. Ryan was quiet and reserved, and ate ridiculously politely. He was the most feminine of the group. Pete's bangs covered most of his face and he looked down; he didn't even look up to introduce himself. Patrick seemed to be the most normal of the group, acting like nothing was going on. Hayley was talking animatedly with Jimmy, and Gerard noticed the round burn marks on her wrists. He thought back to his own scarred wrists, but quickly shook away the thoughts; it was a long time ago. Jimmy had huge liberty spikes in his hair and he seemed somewhat unsure of himself. Lindsey was looking down and pushing her food around slowly, a permanent frown etched into her features. At that moment, Wendie sat down next to Gerard with a smile.

"Ah, so you've all introduced yourselves, good! Good job, everyone." Hayley piped up,

"Frank isn't eating today, Wend?" Wendie sighed and shook her head.

"No... He wasn't feeling too well today. Jamia wrote and said she didn't want to hear from him again. He's been in his room ever since." The group nodded solemnly and Wendie nudged Gerard.

"Eat..." she whispered before leaving.

"Who's Frank?" Gerard asked curiously.

"Frank's another patient here. He's been here for a year, I think. No one knows what happened to him though. Apparently he used to be happy, but something happened, and now he's here..." Lindsey mumbled, standing to deposit her plate.

"He was getting better though. Shame Jamia doesn't want to talk to him anymore. But then, if she was getting better she wouldn't want anyone pulling her down, right?" Hayley mused to herself, "So, Gerard! Who're you bunking with?"

"I- uh... I dunno. I guess whoever's free..." Gerard stuffed a piece of sausage in his mouth, finding it to be surprisingly good. Hayley shuffled uncomfortably in her seat.

"Well, Frank's the only one in this ward with no partner," Hayley continued, "But you're in the one-person room tonight, aren't you?" Gerard nodded, wondering what Frank was like. If he was to spend a month in his company, he hoped Frank would be alright.

"Hey, hey! Bob's not here either! I wonder if he's sick too." Brendan wondered aloud. Pete scoffed.

"He's just sick in the fucking head." He seethed. Patrick ran his thumb over Pete's knuckles soothingly and turned toward Gerard.

"You should steer clear of Bob. He's a sociopath, like Hayley, but he's not nice like her. He tried to take Pete to his room, and... and..." Gerard didn't need to hear anymore. He just knew that Bob was bad news. Gerard looked up to see a blonde man staring at him from the corner. The man's eyes were piercing and blue and Gerard felt intimidated. He nudged Jimmy who looked over quickly.

"Who's that?" Gerard asked quietly, "He's giving me the creeps." Jimmy shuddered visibly next to him.

"That's Bob himself. Trust us and steer clear. If he tries anything, talk to Wendie, okay?" Gerard nodded, deciding he was done with eating and just wanted to retreat to his room, curl into bed and forget this day ever happened.


	3. Hello, Frank

Good grief it's been a while. I'm really sorry it's taken so long, but I've had a lot of crap going on in the past year, being the end of college and the start of university specifically (I'm actually supposed to be doing work right now). But I did promise this would be up before Halloween, and it is. I'll definitely try to update soon though. Anyhow, review or don't, it's all cool. ;D - Rachel

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3 - Hello, Frank<strong>

"Morning, Gerard! Breakfast is in ten minutes, so it's time to get up." Wendie sing-songed as Gerard turned over uncomfortably. He felt incredibly sick as he stared at her through glassy eyes; '_Withdrawals_,' Gerard thought gloomily

"I haven't eaten breakfast for three years." He retorted groggily. Wendie laughed shortly.

"Don't worry; you don't have to actually eat at breakfast, just lunch and dinner." Gerard sat up suddenly.

"Is there coffee?"

"There's coffee."

Gerard decided to sit alone this morning. He looked down at the sketchpad Wendie had gotten him yesterday, but he'd yet to start drawing anything else. He was scanning the room, looking for one face he didn't see at dinner. Gerard looked down at his coffee when suddenly he heard a scream from the corridor. Everyone was rushing to the door and Brendan motioned to Gerard to see. Unable to curb his curiosity, Gerard joined the group and found himself being pushed to the front, Brendan resting his head on Gerard's shoulder behind him.

"The little one's Frank." Brendan murmured almost excitedly. Frank was being pulled away from Bob, who was sporting a fat lip. It looked as through his eye were bruised too. Frank's lip was split and blood poured from his nose. Frank screamed and tried to break free of the two nurses that held him, and Bob was grinning manically.

"It's his fucking fault!" Frank shouted as a syringe was produced. His eyes widened and he shook his head frantically, "Don't, please! He started it!" The needle was pushed into his arm and Gerard fought back the growing nausea at the sight of it. Frank seemed to deflate almost immediately and he was carried away to who-knows-where. The crowd dispersed and just Gerard and Brendan were left to watch Bob skulk off to his room, slamming the door loudly.

"What happened?" Gerard asked numbly. Brendan shrugged and sighed.

"It usually is Bob's fault." With that, Brendan rejoined his own table and Gerard sat back down. Usually? Frank seemed too small to be a fighter, but if he'd managed to get those hits in with Bob, Gerard figured he'd have to keep on Frank's good side.

Later that night, Gerard stood outside the door of the room he was moving into that night. He'd been there for about four minutes, and if he was completely honest, he was kind of shitting himself. He couldn't get the image of Frank trying to get to Bob out of his head. Frank had insisted it was Bob's fault, but what if Gerard did something to upset Frank? He wasn't sure he could even take a punch, let alone throw one, especially when he wasn't drunk or high on something. Speaking of which, a headache was forming behind his eyes and he couldn't stop yawning; his withdrawal had started. Eventually, he found the confidence to open the door slightly and poke his head around. Frank looked up from what he was doing immediately and tightly fisted whatever he had in his hand. He cocked his head to the side and raised his eyebrow.

"I won't bite." He commented lazily and Gerard took this as an invitation to come in. He put his bag on the made bed and sat for a moment, feeling dizzy suddenly. Frank eyed him curiously and put what was in his hand in the drawer next to his bed, "You my new roommate?"

"Yeah," Gerard gasped out as a wave of nausea hit him. He could feel the cold sweat running down his neck. "'m Gerard." Frank was looking at Gerard strangely.

"I'm Frank... Hey, are you okay?" he asked carefully. Gerard nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. He curled in on himself and stared at the floor.

"Drug withdrawals, don't worry about it." He huffed. He felt his stomach lurching again and next thing Frank was leading him into the toilet where Gerard collapsed in front of the bowl and emptied his stomach. Frank sat on the floor awkwardly and patted Gerard's back gently. Gerard flushed the toilet shakily and sat back against the opposite wall.

"Shit, how long's this going to last?" Frank asked apprehensively. Gerard shrugged and laid his head on his shoulder with another yawn. He felt tired.

"Maybe a day or two? I've only done this once; I couldn't handle it so I just took more." Frank shifted himself and picked at a loose thread on his sleeve.

"What were you taking?" he asked. Gerard wondered if Frank was even allowed to ask this kind of stuff.

"Everything... Mostly coke and heroin though. Funnily, it was pills that landed me here," Frank looked intrigued so Gerard continued, "I overdosed by accident; woke up in hospital," he chuckled lightly, "They thought I tried to kill myself."

"Did you?" Frank asked humorously.

"No. I was just having a good time, I guess." Another lurch and Gerard was hunched over the toilet again, but he could only dry heave. His eyes were getting heavy and he hadn't even taken meds yet.

"Do you want me to get Wendie?" Frank asked. He sounded scared. Gerard shook his head and wiped the sweat from his brow. At that moment a loud yell of, "Meds!" could be heard down the corridor and Gerard shakily got to his feet. He and Frank joined the queue and waited for their names to be called. As soon as Gerard reached the counter the nurse eyed him cautiously.

"Are you okay? You look pale." Gerard assured her he was fine, took his pills and collapsed into bed without even undressing. Frank entered the room moments later looking dazed.

"Fuckers put me on new ones," he slurred, "Feels like I'm floating." Frank grabbed his pyjamas and shut himself in the toilet to change. Gerard noticed he was still wearing long sleeves when he re-entered, but decided against saying anything. Frank sat on his bed and swayed lightly.

"What was all that with Bob earlier?" Gerard asked quietly, immediately wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. Frank tensed up before looking down at his hands.

"He's an asshole..." Frank murmured, "Keep away from him." Gerard nodded and buried his face in the pillow, sleep overtaking him.

Several hours later Gerard woke in a daze. His hair was soaked and stuck to him with sweat. He gasped silently as a pain shot through his skull, settling in an ache in his temples. He looked over at Frank, who was sitting up in bed, toying with something in the dark. A sigh of relief was heard and Frank seemed to stretch out his arm and quickly run something over it. He did this again and again and Gerard felt as though he should know what was going on, but through the haze in his brain he couldn't pinpoint it. He just wanted to get back to sleep, but it didn't seem like that was possible. He shut his eyes tight and tried to will himself back to sleep, but he just couldn't. Damn withdrawals. Frank put something in his drawer and took something else out. He wrapped his arm with it and then it clicked. Gauze. Gerard let out the breath he was holding and tried to get up, but his body felt like lead and he was left incapacitated.

"You okay, Frank?" he asked thickly. Frank froze and looked at Gerard like a deer in headlights.

"I- um... Yeah." He gasped out, pulling his sleeve down frantically. He stopped short, "Are you okay?"

"Can't sleep..." Gerard groaned as he shuffled onto his side, "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Frank shot back, "I just- I can't sleep either." Gerard 'hmm'd' and tried to control his breathing through the nausea.

"I think... I think..." Gerard forced himself to move and rushed into the bathroom to cough up the rising bile. He felt Frank sit by the wall again with a short sigh.

"This sucks," Gerard moaned as the tears slipped down his cheeks. He needed a distraction, "Tell me something, Frank." Frank shifted again.

"Like what?"

"I don't know; anything. Tell me something interesting." There was a few moments of silence before Frank cleared his throat.

"Uh, when I came here, no, after that... This used to be a store cupboard for cleaning stuff. They made it into a toilet just for me." They lapsed into silence again and Gerard huffed out a laugh.

"That's not interesting at all."

"Well I couldn't think of anything!" Frank retorted, punching Gerard's arm lightly, "Why don't you tell me something?" Gerard sat back and puzzled for a few seconds before he froze, his blood running cold.

"You have blood on your sleeve." Frank cocked an eyebrow and looked down before cursing profusely and rushing back into the room. Gerard sighed and closed his eyes before he felt Frank sit down again. When Gerard opened his eyes Frank's previous white shirt had been changed for a black one. Frank looked embarrassed.

"It's okay, Frank. It happened to me a couple of times before." Frank looked at Gerard with a mix of suspicion and shock. Gerard pulled his sleeve up and flashed his silver scars, "It was a long time ago," Gerard continued, "I was in High School and no one liked me. It made me feel better, until I found the drugs, of course." Frank watched him intently, as if he wanted to say something, but he didn't, "If you do that again I can wrap it properly for you." Gerard offered. Frank relaxed slightly.

"You won't tell them?" he whispered. Gerard shook his head, "Fine. But don't ever tell them. If you do, I won't forgive you, and I like you, so that would suck." Gerard smiled.

"It's your turn to answer a question; why do you like me?" Gerard asked playfully. Frank smirked, feeling more confident.

"You're hot; who could blame me?" Gerard faltered.

"Err, thanks I guess. So I take it you're not entirely straight." Frank seemed to finally lapse into comfort and Gerard followed suit as the nausea seemed to mostly pass.

"I'm bi. What about you? No offense, but you don't look like the straightest guy ever."

"What is this, twenty questions?"

"You started it," Frank shot, "But you didn't answer me."

"My name's Gerard Way, and I'm gay." Frank spluttered out a laugh.

"Hello, Gerard." He drawled out an imitation of an AA meeting. Gerard grinned; his headache was almost gone and he didn't feel like he was made of concrete anymore.

"So, I've told you my story, why are you here?" he asked. Frank sighed and hunched over.

"If you really want to know, I'm here officially for PTSD. That's 'post traumatic stress disorder'. That's all I'm saying." Gerard nodded, deciding against pushing the matter any further. He picked himself up and walked back to his bed, collapsing on it with a yawn. Frank tentatively got into his own and laid down. Within mere minutes they were both sleeping soundly.


End file.
